You may see me laughing my heart out, smiling like there’s no tomorrow and living life like it has worth. But NO. It was all purely pretensions, because deep within me is an inner self,secretly but severely bleeding. You may think you do understand what I meant, but, again, NO. I bleed so much to the extent even words can’t describe it,even tears can’t fade it, and smiles can’t hide it. In each day I live, I ought to smile so badly no matter how fake it is just to hide all those wounds life and love did to me. And in each night, when nobody sees me, my inner self flashes back to the picture, revealing my true feelings, my true identity, the true me, that nobody understands. And nobody will ever will. Even though you heard all my stories, it doesn’t change a thing. The stab on my heart is unbelievably painful and every time memories comes flashing back, it seems that the dagger has been moved and pushed to the deepest part of my heart. Now, you tell me, you know that feeling? Of course not. Those were the things that were made to be understandable, so I’ll surely have a bad time moving on. Got the point? LIFE HATES ME.
Dreams do come true. Stupid. Who the hell ever created that quote? Well, he’s surely a lucky one. But, as for me, it’s pure stupidity. Believing in things your mind creates? Stupid. I was once so dumb enough believing that what you want in life will be yours if you just beLIEve. Lie. For all of you non-dreamers, two thumbs up. That’s a good choice. You will never feel this frustration and disappointment I’m feeling right now.
Girls should NEVER make the first move. Yeah. Decent girls are the best girls. That’s what I thought. But,NO. Still, boys do find cheap and easy girls more attractive. Cheap girls always gets ahead, and GOOD GIRLS like me? They’ll be left in the corners of this liberated world. Decency nowadays is not important. Decent girls are not the ideal type. That’s for sure.
And now, I’m stuck in this room, flooding all my feelings in this message because I’m currently alone. Stuck in prison. Behind the thick bars of reality, I can never escape. And even if I cry everyday, even if my eyelids are tired of giving up tears, even if already cried my last drop of tear, the pain within me will still remain UNDERSTANDABLE.